I feel.....

I don't know why, everytime when i am about to go for work, i feel so reluctant..so lethargic..so tired. don't get me wrong, its not that i hate it or what, people there are nice bunch, but to a certain extend.
I notice how smoking people can really click even in the first day of meeting..and how the color of their skin to a certain extend still matters...for example, 2 days ago, a new guy came in to work as a steward, and he a malay..and during the evening shift..he was given water to drink, chicken to eat and french fries...where as for me, the first day, i got more questions than a professor...(then again i told myself maybe they wanna make him feel at home so he doesn't run away like the other stewards) hmm...i wonder..
They all speak a similar kinda malay which sometimes i have no idea what they are talking about, but laughs together with them..*silly* they are a funny bunch no doubt, but sometimes their jokes are rather dirty...well it is probably expected la...

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It sometimes is hard to blend in with them...because if i want to..i need to adapt their culture of life..people who admit their religion but never follows them..hahaha what a joke...But i am suppose to be an influence to them..of what is good, what is pure and what is right...now it seems like the hardest thing to do..i was reading my bible today, the book of proverbs, and what it said was, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, but in everything acknowledge the Lord, and He will direct your path" Strong words, something that is easier said than done...Especially in the industry that i'm in, when you have the whole working crew smoking all the way, wa...sometimes it tends to become such a temptation..but i can and hope be able to continue resisting it..hahha

Working life is no easy thing to do...if you think that it is much better than studying and doing assignments? Hmmt think again...the pressure is intense, and the outcome of a failure is devastating...

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My vision and desire of serving the Lord still stands...and i am still looking forward to the day when i can serve him with what i do best..cooking..i love to cook for people..so far it has only been for my family and some friends..but i hope to make it outside the circle...my chef always tells me you have to work hard to be on top..in culinary there is no short cuts..you have to always be alert, open your eyes, ears, nose and mouth..what he means is that..i have to be observen,attentive in listening, nosing every cooking that is going in the kitchen and tasting every end product before it is served...Lots of things to remember...about all..to absorb and remember what i have learn...siao siao...