Am I trying a little too hard?? I think i may have...i'v been thinking alot lately, and it never got to any conculsions, only more questions, maybe even some doubts...reaching towards what i can't get...seems such an impossible task.. I'm caught in the cross roads of emotions!
My head is spinning with a thousand questions, questions that i would love, answered....as for now those remain as just questions...is it so hard to see the effort i put in?? I've been really weight down by past events...some has left me with more questions than answers..some just tore me into pieces..somejust pull my level of self-esteem and confidence down to half past zero.... (Je n'aime pas!!)
---------------------------------------------
27 january 2007- Food promotion
Before this i was very much excited and looking forward to this day, but i realise when days passes and the date draws closer, my excitement becomes anxiety and "looking forward" became fear...and sad to say, my worse fear came to pass, if i would have to rate on my own standard on the food promo, out of 10 i would probably 2...in my own words i would call it disaster!! You never see how much of an effort i've put in, scratching my bloody head, and then u come along and slack and pretend that all is well, you gave up and left me alone to hand things...and you, you thought that this was just another "orientation nite"? *note, i'm not refering to one person only*...as for you who had put in much effort (a small percentage) i thank you for that. To seriously say, i've not recover from that..
Following week...
I don't know how to explain this, but "valentine's day"? How can i be effected by this over advertised day feb 14? gees...
its that time again where i feel like i'm in a dark void...floating aimlesly, wonderin which direction.. i need to stop, i need to focus, i need to leave all these pointless things aside!!!! I'm in my final year of diploma..4 more months to go for my diploma, if i screw this up, i screw myself up...i must push my way thru for this last 4 months...i need a miracle..a miracle...
i've made a vow.....
Sunday, February 04, 2007
untitle
Posted by J-mes at 8:48 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
Hey... I guess I can understand what u're going through there... Though I dunno the full pic, but from ur writing, I can really identify with it... THe difference?? I've pass the stage u're going through now.
I was in a much worse state than u are now half a year ago, but I made it through with God. It will better, provided u let it be.
So what if it's Valentine's day?? GO out with ur singles frens and celebrate ur singlehood... That's what I did with Lizz last Valentines...
James, you can do this.. Trust yourself... Trust God..
seems like u really know how i feel and u really know what ur saying...sigh...but mine is a lil diff from urs..we nv gt together..its the thoughts (at times) that tears me apart...
Hoi brother? How can u get effected by valentines day? Tell you what, buy as many roses and card u can, give it to the gals around you. That is a nice way to celebrate valentine day, better than giving to a single gal that hardly really appreciate it right?
A thousand smile is better than a single once..
James, you can make it de. You are stronger than I see, and I believe you can do it. don't let other people effect you, you are in control over your own life, for God has dedicated it to you and the freedom of choice you have.
Stay strong..
wa bau..now that's deep..yea i guess ur right...me? i'm a reproach of women hahaha...dunno la..since the last ugly relationship...i;ve change, my perspective of the opposite sex has change too...
Yes... You do know ur prob here very well... U can even mention that it's coz the thoughts that kills.. So do something about it...
From ur reply, I guess u know what I've gone through, even though I haven't really told u before. I went through a period of living hell man... Ask Grace or Lizz, the emotional roller coster I had to endure, plus I had to face my finals in 3 weeks. Shift ur focus and energy to something else u know will yield somethingy good, instead of letting ur emotions control ur life.
I'm not saying that it's going to be easy. Even after trying to be positive, I still had times when I broke down.. But don't give up!! I never give up believing that one day I'll heal fully... Even now I'm still holding onto that...
hmmm i think if we continue discussing this i would have to speak privately with you..because like i said mine is a lil different from urs i never got into a relationship in the 1st place..tzern would know...
yup, the last time james was in a relationship was 5 years ago. James you "bo luck" sia..haha
you change? your perspective of the opposite sex has change too?
WOW..that sound so much like me men..now I think u can understand why I always say "single is the best" because my perspective towards opposite sex have change a long time ago, like you now. I guess now I am able to share my thought with you about BGR stuff and you would understand, since the last time I share my BGR stuff with you was like...can't remember.
Hey brother, let God decide k? as much as it is hard to resist, if I can do it here in Singapore...James, you can do it too..Lets get through it together. I always here for u to share..
hey tzern thanks for the encouragement...tho my perspective of a girl has change in recent years, but i wouldn't deny that they do play an essential part of life...i still do like her...just that not really gonna do anything about it..yea man..
lets get thru this together, let God decide whom do i pick..as for u...man u do know you have like alot of admirers rite..hhahaha...can't wait to see ya...haiyo come back for chinese new year la dude
Post a Comment